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altoo
Chancellor
Joined: 26 Dec 2006
Posts: 994
Location: MaryLand
Country: usa
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 Posted: Tue Jun 10, 2008 5:10 pm Post subject: southern hospitality!!! |
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Folks, check this out....funny as hell, I am laying down on my Lazy Boy couch the other night, watching AETV programme on "emergencies" & here's what I heard & saw at the same time,
Caller: Hallo Hallo Hallo, can someone answer the g'damn phone?
911 : Yes sir, this is 911, what's your emergency sir?
Caller: what's my emergency?, I will tell you what my damn emergency is
911 : Sir, you kay?, everything alright?, what's your emergency sir?
Caller: are you f*cking listening?, if you just shut the f*ck up for a g'damn minute, I will tell you what my f*cking emergy is, you hear me lady? I have a f*cking emergency and I need to talk to the police
911: Sir, again, this is the police, you called 911, what's your emergency?
Caller: I just got the f*ck home, and my House is gone
911: Okay Sir, your house is gone, what do you mean your house is gone
Caller: what the f*ck do you think I mean?, I mean my house is gone
911: what do you mean gone sir?
Caller: I mean it's outta here, it's not where I left it this morning, that's what I mean. Can't you understand that?, can I talk to a real person?
911: I am a real person sir, what's your address, what's your address?
Caller: you better send someone here quick before i start killing people
after 5 mins, the cops got to the guys location & here's what followed,
Cops: Sir, are you the person who just called us?
Caller: of course I am, what the f*ck? I have an emergency here
Cops: what happened sir?
Caller: if I knew what the f*ck happened, why would I call you guys?
Cops: Sir, we need for you to tell us what happened , okay?
Caller: I got home, and my f*cking house is f*cking out of here, that's what happened, is that good enough for you guys to understand, is it?
Cops: Okay, so, your house was stolen?, is that what you telling us?
Caller: what the f*ck, do you guys have eyes? take a wild guess!
Cops: Sir, we don't appreciate your foul language sir
Caller: are you guys here to f*cking help me or what?, i need help
Cops: okay, you think someone stole your house?
Caller: what the f*ck?, of course someone stole my house, cant u see?
Cops: we see that Sir, the question is , who do you think did it?
Caller: are you f*cking kidding me?, if I knew who did it, I would go kill him myself, I wouldn't need none of you mothaf*ckers
Cops: you are way over the line, we don't appreciatte your foul language
Caller: f*ck you, I am trying to find out who stole my house you bums
Cops: we know that...are you sure you made all your mortgage payments?
Caller: what the f*ck you talking about?, do i look like a bum?,....my house is paid for....what the f8ck are you bastards suggesting?
Cops: Sir, we here to help, okay?, obviously our help isn't being appreciated here....what do you want us to here Sir?
Caller: are you cops or not?, are you *&^% cops or not?, yes or no?
Cops: yes we are
Caller: if you are, quit talking to me & go find the motherf*cker who did it
_________________
a CITIZEN without POLITICAL KNOWLEDGE is a VIRTUAL CRIMINAL....when the POWER of LOVE overcomes the LOVE of POWER, the WORLD will know PEACE....I would rather be HATED for WHO I am than LOVED for WHAT I am not....LIVE FREE or DIE HARD!!!
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jcs
Visiting Assoc Professor
Joined: 01 Oct 2007
Posts: 183
Location: Nairobi
Country: kenya
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| Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 2:59 am Post subject: |
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 tht was one hell (in th real sense of the word) of a caller. JESUS!!!!!
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jcs
Visiting Assoc Professor
Joined: 01 Oct 2007
Posts: 183
Location: Nairobi
Country: kenya
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| Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 3:02 am Post subject: |
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hospitality???  yeah right!
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altoo
Chancellor
Joined: 26 Dec 2006
Posts: 994
Location: MaryLand
Country: usa
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| Posted: Thu Jun 12, 2008 11:18 am Post subject: |
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| jcs wrote: | | tht was one hell (in th real sense of the word) of a caller. JESUS!!!!! |
it gets even better jcs , here's what followed next
Cops: Sir, if we gonna help you, you need to calm down & talk okay
Caller: calm down?, what the f!ck are you talking about?, I am calm
Cops: no you not Sir, we understand you may be a little upset but you need to settle down, calm down and talk to us okay
Caller: let me ask you something you morons, would be calm if you came hot after a long hard day doing construction & found your house gone? would you? answer me you bastards
Cops: Sir, we are the police okay, we here to help we obviously undertstand your anger...we feel your pain sir okay, we know what you going through right now but we need your cooperation to help you
Caller: what the f!uck are you telling me?, do I look like I am stupid? answer me....how old are? you nothing but a bunch of kids you bastards....you have no idea what f!cking adults like me go thru
Cops: we understand Sir
Caller: no you don't, get off my property you sonofabitch....both of you
Cops: Sir, again we don't appreciate your foul language Sir, you need to calm for us Sir okay
Caller: are you f!cking deaf?, did you hear what I just said? I don't need your help if you aren't going to find out who stole my g'damn house okay
Cops: sir, listen to me, you need to calm down okay? can u do that for us?
Caller: for the tenth time, I am calm...how many times can I say that? 
Cops: how much have you had to drink sir?
Caller: what the f!ck?, what does that have to do with anything?
Cops: it's obvious
Caller: what do you mean it obvious?, what is f!cking obvious?
Cops: it's obvious you have been drinking sir, your breath and I see open alcohol containers in your truck sir
Caller: so f!cking what?, you morons came here to find out who stole my f!cking house not to intrude into my privacy, you f!cking hear me?
Cops: if you calm down we can start doing that, when is the last time you saw your house sir?
Caller: I already told you...you this this is a f!cking game?
Cops: sir, I am telling you now, if you don't calm down we will be forced to arrest you..is that clear?
Caller: say that again, arrest me?, for f!cking what? get off my damn property right now...get outta here...you hear me?
Cops: we aren't going anywhere, we here to help and yes we can arrest you for being intoxicated and for having open alcohol containers in your truck...you understand? you need to cooperate with us eight now or we will be forced to taze you...you want to be tazered?
Caller: for the last time, I say get off my property & go find my damn house
_________________
a CITIZEN without POLITICAL KNOWLEDGE is a VIRTUAL CRIMINAL....when the POWER of LOVE overcomes the LOVE of POWER, the WORLD will know PEACE....I would rather be HATED for WHO I am than LOVED for WHAT I am not....LIVE FREE or DIE HARD!!!
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Nyiganet
Senior Lecturer
Joined: 18 Feb 2007
Posts: 121
Location: Damascus
Country: syria
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| Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 4:52 pm Post subject: |
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| jcs wrote: | | hospitality??? yeah right! |
hospitality my rear end!
that's the funniest story I have read in a little while. sumbitch must have been a real hardcore southern redneck. , what happened next?
_________________
Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man's character, give him POWER
Mautyen moset katwalet! Osaach kosachi gaa
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altoo
Chancellor
Joined: 26 Dec 2006
Posts: 994
Location: MaryLand
Country: usa
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| Posted: Wed Jun 18, 2008 1:59 pm Post subject: |
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| Nyiganet wrote: | | jcs wrote: | | hospitality??? yeah right! |
hospitality my rear end!
that's the funniest story I have read in a little while. sumbitch must have been a real hardcore southern redneck. , what happened next? |
what followed next was even more hillarious, check it out!!!
Cops: Again Sir, if you don't cooperate with us, I will forced to taze you....have been you been tazered before Sir?, it kinda hurts you know
Caller: like I said, get off my damn property if you came over a chat
Cops: sir, what do you want us to do sir?, u need to tell what to do
Caller: what the f!ck? why are you here?, what did you f!cking come 4?
Cops: Sir, you called us so help us help you...calm down sir okay
Caller: I am calm
Cops: okay Sir, when is the last you saw your house? this morning?
Caller: I already told you, I left for my construction job this morning and my house sitting right there...are f1cking blind?, can't you see?
Cops: of we see where the house was...question is, who stole your house
Caller: if you bastards are here to f1ck with me, I don't need you okay
Cops: Sir, are you high on something?, we see you intoxicated already
Caller: that's none of you business you morons...get out of here
Cops: okay, sir, who do you think stole sir?, you sure the bank didn't foreclose on you mortage?
Caller: hell no...i made my payments already..I am f1cking current k
Cops: okay sir, who lived with you? you live by yourself? do you?
Caller: what the f1ck?, you think she did it?, g'damnit...you may be right
Cops: what?, right about what sir?
Caller: that bitch may have stolen my g'damn house...she could have
Cops: what you talking sir?, you mean your wife?, where's she sir?
Caller: she done come here the other day with her boyfriend..bitch
Cops: wait a minute sir? you think your wife stole your house
Caller: g'damn right...you better find that bitch before I do coz she will be dead if I found her first...you hear me?, you f1cking hear me?
Cops: calm down sir, as police officers we can't let you go around threathening other people's lives sir, even if it's your wife..u understand?
Caller: she stole my f1cking house...she & that f1cking boyfriend of hers
Cops: what?, u mean your wife has a boyfriend?
Caller: you find that funny?, get out of my property you bastards
Cops: I don't mean to laugh at you sir, but it's kinda funny. where's she?
Caller: do I look like I am f1cking psychic?, do I?, I will kill her if I find her
Cops: sir, okay, help us find your wife sir okay?
_________________
a CITIZEN without POLITICAL KNOWLEDGE is a VIRTUAL CRIMINAL....when the POWER of LOVE overcomes the LOVE of POWER, the WORLD will know PEACE....I would rather be HATED for WHO I am than LOVED for WHAT I am not....LIVE FREE or DIE HARD!!!
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Kazi_Bure
Lecturer
Joined: 12 Feb 2008
Posts: 75
Location: washington District of Columbia
Country: usa
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| Posted: Fri Sep 19, 2008 11:06 am Post subject: |
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ROTFLMAO!!!
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